Reflecting on 2011

I am so thankful to know my Lord and savior! Jesus is the reason for the season! :)

Anyway... This time of year, for some reason, makes be overly thankful for what I have. This past year has been pretty good to us. We moved back to Oklahoma (home), bought a brand new house, I got a new job, and we finally achieved our dream of becoming pregnant. Well, the last one feels like a dream I have woken up from. I am so happy for the good Lord above to haven given us answers FINALLY after so long wondering and waiting. It's almost like these answers have renewed my sense of hope. I am positive, I truly believe that one day I will carry our rainbow baby to term and we will have a perfect healthy bundle of joy to enjoy for the rest of our lives. I am so grateful for 2011. I knew it would be a good year for us when we got the news we were moving back home. I cannot praise God enough for all of these amazing miracles in my life. How can I not walk around with a smile on my face? Every time I feel like I'm getting down about our loss, I just think of God and how amazing He makes me feel. And having that feeling is the best thing in the world. With Him, I can overcome all obstacles in life. Don't get me wrong, emotionally I feel burned, but God heals those wounds slowly. I trust Him. And that is all I can do. I just feel like letting everyone know how much I LOVE MY GOD! :)

I am 7dpo today. I have this strong urge to poas tomorrow morning. I know it will be BFN, but after last cycle and getting real BFP's for the first time in my life, I am craving more. I know it will be a waste of a test. I will probably try my hardest to wait until the night of 9dpo, possibly the morning of 10dpo. I have tender breasts today. I normally don't ever have tender breasts. Last cycle, my chemical cycle, my tender breasts started to be noticeable around 10-11dpo. I think I'm just imagining it though right now. I am praying for a pregnancy. But then again I know that God will probably not give that to us this cycle, since he has not in past natural cycles. I am just so unsure. I do know this, those pee sticks will not take the life out of me this cycle. I am determined to just poas once a day. I don't want to stress myself out in the possibility that I am pregnant. I don't know right now. I am just hopeful but at the same time I am so ready to start our second IUI cycle to know we have a better chance than this natural cycle. So much to look forward to in this next month. I am more than ready for this mommy journey to begin. Please, God, I'm praying for another miracle!