Our TTC Journey

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Chunkin' up the duces


I have been having trouble lately staying on track with Weight Watchers. You would think after being on WW for 1.5 yrs it would be easy. Now that I'm about 25 lbs away from goal, it's harder than ever. I cheat a lot, which is very stupid of me. I am still in the "over weight" category for BMI. ~sigh~ Although I have lost and gained some back, I am right at 78 lbs lost. My lowest was 82 lbs lost. My plan for all of this is to become a healthy mother. Maybe it just hasn't happened yet because I'm not a normal weight? For crying out loud, I'm 170 lbs now. I don't look fat. I feel fat though. It's strange to go from 247 and try to be able to get used to your body. Somehow, you still always feel like that fat girl you once were. I really think I'm "bigger" for the weight of 170 compared to others who weight 170. Who knows? But I'm really going to try to stay on track. I want this baby more than ever and I pray to God that he gives me the strength to keep losing this weight, and being healthy. So, I've been going to the gym, or trying to, every other day. Sometimes I skip 2 days. But that's okay because at least I'm going, right? Today I had a great workout. It relieves the stress of infertility and it makes me want to beat it so bad. It gives me the energy to fight this stupid battle that's right in my body. God, please help me fight this battle. I know I will win, some day! :)

In other news, my BBT went from 97.4 yesterday to 98.2 today. What the hell? I did go to sleep later and woke up later, but usually that doesn't change it that much. Maybe I did ovulate while I was feeling those throbbing pains? I guess I'll find out on Monday. I really am praying that those eggies are still there growing and are ready to be fertilized next week. So, so ready!


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