So I have been doing a ton of thinking lately. A friend of mine who has been trying to get pregnant for a year, recently got her BFP. Well, her due date is 3 days after mine was. Her pregnancy is going along fine, and she is always posting on Facebook about something pregnancy related. I can't help but to feel bad for myself because every little thing she goes though, I feel like I would be going through, too. I'm just really still trying to get over the fact that we had a chemical pregnancy. I am still very upset but I do know that things happen for a reason. The reason behind God wanting me to pretty much watch a pregnancy from the sidelines instead of going through it when it could have been me, still has me questioning. I just don't know how to feel about it. There HAS to be a reason for it. There must be some lesson God is trying to teach me throughout this journey. I have yet to figure it out. I'm pretty confused. I just wish I didn't have to go through the torture of watching her baby bump grow, and have to look down and see nothing but a fat bump on me. It's annoying to say the least. Why do things happen like this? Why am I always reminded that I am infertile? I don't understand... But I will try to enjoy the holidays and this newly found break cycle. No temping, no OPK's, and no timing intercourse(I AM EXCITED FOR THIS! LOL). But, I am so read for February get here to do our 2nd IUI...time can't go by fast enough. But I know it will be here before we know it. I am so grateful for what God has given me and I need to enjoy every moment I my life, even if right now we don't know if we will ever have children. I am blessed.