Our TTC Journey

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Reflecting on 2011

I am so thankful to know my Lord and savior! Jesus is the reason for the season! :)

Anyway... This time of year, for some reason, makes be overly thankful for what I have. This past year has been pretty good to us. We moved back to Oklahoma (home), bought a brand new house, I got a new job, and we finally achieved our dream of becoming pregnant. Well, the last one feels like a dream I have woken up from. I am so happy for the good Lord above to haven given us answers FINALLY after so long wondering and waiting. It's almost like these answers have renewed my sense of hope. I am positive, I truly believe that one day I will carry our rainbow baby to term and we will have a perfect healthy bundle of joy to enjoy for the rest of our lives. I am so grateful for 2011. I knew it would be a good year for us when we got the news we were moving back home. I cannot praise God enough for all of these amazing miracles in my life. How can I not walk around with a smile on my face? Every time I feel like I'm getting down about our loss, I just think of God and how amazing He makes me feel. And having that feeling is the best thing in the world. With Him, I can overcome all obstacles in life. Don't get me wrong, emotionally I feel burned, but God heals those wounds slowly. I trust Him. And that is all I can do. I just feel like letting everyone know how much I LOVE MY GOD! :)

I am 7dpo today. I have this strong urge to poas tomorrow morning. I know it will be BFN, but after last cycle and getting real BFP's for the first time in my life, I am craving more. I know it will be a waste of a test. I will probably try my hardest to wait until the night of 9dpo, possibly the morning of 10dpo. I have tender breasts today. I normally don't ever have tender breasts. Last cycle, my chemical cycle, my tender breasts started to be noticeable around 10-11dpo. I think I'm just imagining it though right now. I am praying for a pregnancy. But then again I know that God will probably not give that to us this cycle, since he has not in past natural cycles. I am just so unsure. I do know this, those pee sticks will not take the life out of me this cycle. I am determined to just poas once a day. I don't want to stress myself out in the possibility that I am pregnant. I don't know right now. I am just hopeful but at the same time I am so ready to start our second IUI cycle to know we have a better chance than this natural cycle. So much to look forward to in this next month. I am more than ready for this mommy journey to begin. Please, God, I'm praying for another miracle!

1 comment:

  1. Wow. What a testimony... Praise the Lord for leading you on this journey each and every step!

    It's amazing how God uses us in ways we cannot imagine... How God brought you and your DH back home and how we are waiting patiently for my first ppaf to arrive (almost 14 months after delivery due to breastfeeding) so we can TTC a sibling yet God renewed our hope that He too will take us back home (Georgia) as we currently are waiting for.

    If that jumbled mess made any sense! LOL Praying for a rainbow baby for you!!! We had several chemical pregnancies so I know that heartache yet hope.